15 Crazy American Foods You Won’t Find Abroad
America is the nation that invented high fructose corn syrup. We like sweets, we like fat, and we love to experiment with them. Here are 15 of America’s craziest food creations you won’t find abroad!
Rocky Mountain Oysters
Don’t let the name fool you—Rocky Mountain oysters are actually bull testicles. I honestly can’t think of any way to defend this one.
KFC Famous Bowl
Patton Oswalt famously derided this KFC dish as “a failure pile in a sadness bowl.” It turns out this grey glob of mashed potatoes, gravy, chicken strips, and corn mixed together is the #1 fast food dish in the world. Great job, America!
The Dagwood Sandwich
When the Great Depression hit, Blondie’s boyfriend went from a millionaire to a pauper. The recurring gag of his enormous sandwiches is timeless regardless of how rich or poor he may be.
Bacon-Infused Vodka
Bacon is tasty, maybe even “amazing.” But, is our weird national fixation sincere or the result of some bizarre joke? Either way, I think this bacon vodka may be taking it too far.
Doritos Locos Tacos
Is the Doritos Locos Taco brilliant? Absolutely! However, if you’re eating it, you’re pretty much advertising to the world that you are either not sober or not concerned with your long-term wellbeing.
Crawdads
Asking someone to eat a creature that looks like a lobster and a roach had a baby is one thing. Calling it a “mudbug” and insisting that people take you seriously is another thing entirely. When you’re asking people to suck out the brains, you many need to rethink your culinary taste.
Pickled Pigs' Feet
Other countries eat animals and animal parts that Americans find odd, but we’re kind of the king of doing that. We really should stop judging!
The Elvis Sandwich
“The King” was famously/allegedly fond of peanut butter, banana, and bacon sandwiches. From what we hear, they’re not that bad.
Hot Sauce
We’re not the only country that prides ourselves on spicy food; curry can absolutely wreck you! We are the only country, however, that felt the need to concentrate it into a pure, distilled, self-loathing, bottle and sell it.
Fried Twinkies
A packet of two Twinkies has 270 calories. So, naturally, we cover them in funnel cake batter, deep fry them, and sell them at state fairs and carnivals. But it doesn’t stop there! You can now buy your Twinkies already deep-fried for you from the grocery store.
Stuffed Crust Pizza
Look, we can totally justify this—it’s basically a slice of pizza with a piece of cheesy bread attached to it. Those things go together, anyway! Leave us alone. Let us have this. We deserve it!
Mac and Cheese Nuggets
Never underestimate American ingenuity, especially not when it comes to deep-frying stuff. Sonic drive-in is far from the only place that’s tried such a thing.
Chicken Fried Chicken
This isn’t necessarily gross or weird, but it’s such an American thing to do. For some reason we thought that chicken needed to be fried like chicken fried steak. So, we now call fried chicken that’s been beaten and gravied up “chicken fried chicken.”
White Bread
What’s gross about bread? Well, America’s white bread is actually closer to cake than most breads, which isn’t something you realize until you’ve had actual bread.
The Luther
Allegedly named after Luther Vandross, this creation has taken America by storm. Were it not for the fact that it’s sustaining businesses across the country, this burger-doughnut combo would be easy to write off simply for its level of fat content.
